Category Archives: Communication

Saint Bernard Puppy: Let’s Have Fun Today.

Surrounding ourselves with positivity

AbuNana’s Gift Shop

Thought 1: The more we surround ourselves with uplifting objects, the more we encourage our choice in positive living. Everyone is unique and celebrates their understanding of positivity differently.

Thought 2: Positive living and thinking allows celebration for every individual. When we allow ourselves to share thoughts, actions, and creativity, we are at peace with ourself and with others.

Pacific Northwest Ocean

Thought 3: Everyone is beautiful and talented. We are similar to the beauty of a garden with the many different colors and types of plants. The more the merrier. We are best when we join together and yet, keep our individuality. We all contribute to the beauty of life as individuals. Inclusion of all these differences appears to be the challenge of this century.

What does this have to do with coffee or tea mugs?

Thought 4: A simple mug chosen to drink a beverage can become a celebration of sorts. Objects measure levels of positivity

Conversations

Thought 4: The ritual of drinking coffee, tea or your favorite morning drink can be emotionally beneficial as you begin your day.

Poppy Searching

My suggestion is to start with a morning beverage. Use this time to feel good. Maybe catch a conversation with someone in the house, or enjoy a sunrise, or sketch a picture … whatever revs your engine, as my friend Joey says.

I’ve offered you some options for a cool, new cup, with links at the end of this page. Be on the lookout for a cup that tickles your insides. How do you tilt the positivity scale?

All You Need Is Love

3 Insights: Why People Discredit Other People

It did not start with the current, constant social media bantering. Discrediting other people has existed in our culture for as long as I have lived. Here are three insights as to why.

LOGIC REQUIRES CATEGORIZATION

From our earliest years we have played games where we sort out what’s different, what’s the same, what belongs, what does not belong, find the things that match. These were (and continue to be) little puzzle books, pre-readers, and children’s magazines. It was and is thought to be the foundational activity for preparing youngsters to read.

But have we thought about the behavioral impact these activities instill into our little child’s psyche? What is on the paper, can also be played in real life. Have you ever heard kids play question games, like who’s your favorite teacher so far? Who do you like best, your brother or me? Who runs the fastest, Tommy or Susie? Who do you like in our classroom? Who do you think is smart? Who do you think is stupid? …and so it begins.

It is obvious why categories play an intrinsic part in the structure and order to our lives: to sort, pick and choose, move forward with new entries into categories. If we are not conscious of the impact of our choices, however, we can stagnate into an imploding rather than expanding lifestyle.

Have you ever started a new job and given a tour of the office? As you are introduced to your future co-workers, are you somewhat surprised to be taken aside to hear negative tidbits about the person you are going to meet? It usually goes something like this, “Betty is our accountant, She is a real rule keeper, so be careful of her. She takes no prisoners!” (…And then a knowing laugh). Betty’s reputation begins before every meeting her in person. Or, “Now let’s meet Tom, he’s just broke up with his girlfriend. I think it was because she thought he was cheating on her.” Tom will be categorized by you with this information.

It just seems we have a tolerance for putting things, places and, yes, people in categories, even items to discredit another. Why would we do this? Well, this leads to my next observation..

WE CARRY AN URGE TO BE IN THE KNOW.

We like to feel important. In first grade, the teacher would say to the class, “Look how Barbara is sitting up straight with her hands folded on her desk. This is the perfect way to be attentive in our class.” I would feel so important … and smart. It only took sitting up straight and putting my hands together to get her attention. School is going to be easy! My second grade teacher seemed to be on the same track, because from time to time she liked to point out the fact that I was a great student who knew how to sit up straight. But by the third grade, I was totally ignored and the students who knew answers were pointed out as the perfect ones! I lost the spotlight, but I did not lose my graving for the spotlight!

I changed my direction because I liked being the center of praise. I liked being in the know. And, sometimes being in the know is demonstrated by talking about other people. We talk about people like we are the ones who have a special inside track. We feel more importance when we can talk about people. As we speak, though, we begin to notice speaking in with negative connotations receives a bigger audience.

NEGATIVE TALK GETS THE MOST ATTENTION

There used to be a thing called newspapers. (…they still quietly thrive but you might not be aware of them.) And, within our San Francisco Chronicle or Berkeley Gazette, (or both) was found Ann Landers. She answered and offered solutions for her readers. In high school I wrote to her and asked why news articles were always focused on death, murder, robberies, all bad things that happened to people If we teens weren’t allowed to see them in movies, why did we have news stories on television. I asked her to please write about this and offer suggestions for writing more uplifting and inspiring news that I was sure was being actuated on the same day as current news horror stories. She sent a letter back to me. It was so many years ago, but I remember being delighted to receive a letter from Ann Landers. In a nutshell, I interpreted the letter as an explanation: unfortunately people like to read about what surprises them.

So, negative talk is what gets our attention, isn’t it. I may be thought of as a more powerful person if I can talk definitively in negative terms. I really know this person and I can protect you from them. I am the patriarch! I am the matriarch!

It may be the old stand on the heads of others to get ahead syndrome. Yet, when I tell you that this person is an idiot, or psychopath, or lazy, or ugly, or a number of other senseless things, I project my disavowed traits and actually am talking about myself.

It will take some time to change the culture of discrediting people, if in fact, we even wish to change. It’s something to consider. The only real power we have is to locate and accept ourselves. …all that is within. It may be time for a change..

I am reminded of early writings by Gary Zukav:

Authentic power requires that we choose:

* Harmony over Discord

* Cooperation over Competition

* Sharing over Hoarding

* Reverence for life over Exploitation

Addendum: There is lots to say about this topic. I’ll save my thoughts for another day, but I’d love to hear what you think. Smile whenever you think of it!

The Art of Waking Up: Four Books

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

You have the same power as any other human in the world. The main difference between you and someone else is how you apply your power, what you create with your power. You may be similar to others in many ways, but no one in the whole world lives her life the way you do.

Ruiz, Don Miguel. The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship (A Toltec Wisdom Book) . Amber-Allen Publishing. Kindle Edition.

The way I lived my life this week has opened the doors to my natural, happy self. It wasn’t clear to me in the beginning of the week. My knee swelled up and became painful, I lost my emotional balance, depression began to ooze into my time.

I found myself irritated and short fused. And, worst of all, the messages of the book I struggle to promote reminds me to turn around and find something more pleasant to think about and do.

Fortunately, there is a force within me silently tending to my well-being. I can struggle or not struggle, this force continues to vibrate as constant as my heart. I have a friend in me. — if I can take time to wake up!

Another lucky thing for me: good habits always come in handy, when challenges arise within my days. One of these habits is to call my younger brother on FaceTime. We’ve known each other all of his life, maybe longer I don’t know. We like to share the videos we’ve seen and the books we’ve read. Finally after numerous conversation on the latest book he is reading, it occurred to me I could also read more books if I used the public library.

So, I resurrected my library card and went online to the Sno-Isle Library. Remember I said I was dangling my feet in depression, and with these gloomy attitudes, I had difficulty remembering my login data. I refused to give up and called a librarian for assistance.

As soon as I made this call, the sun shone through and I was on-line, registered, and ready to browse through thousands of books. I began reading, from self-help to romantic fiction. All uplifting books! Each intuitively drew me toward my approach to heal and I was not disappointed.

The first book I chose was, Getting To Yes With Yourself and Other Worthy Opponents, by William Ury.

The second, When Breath Becomes Air, by Paul Kalanithi

The third, Cottage by the Sea, by Debbie Macomber

I looked back over the books previously purchased and was drawn to Ruiz, Don Miguel. The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship (A Toltec Wisdom Book) . Amber-Allen Publishing. Kindle Edition

So many times I forget to feed myself by reading. I entertain a thought of wasting time? Yet any amount of depression is a higher waste of my time. I take breaks and magically begin to change the look of our house. Without buying a thing our family room becomes a cozy and happy place to hang out. Each break seems to make a difference within our environment. I could feel the change of attitude.

All I can say at this point is thank you, force within me. And, thank you, authors, who break through their personal challenges to share insights, their lives. Authors help us realize we are not alone in our struggles and temporary disappointments. The author’s life experience is generously shared with us. And, we are better people because of them. Not to be redundant, but the initial quote in this blog bears repeating.

You have the same power as any other human in the world. The main difference between you and someone else is how you apply your power, what you create with your power. You may be similar to others in many ways, but no one in the whole world lives her life the way you do.

Ruiz, Don Miguel. The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship (A Toltec Wisdom Book) . Amber-Allen Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Reading can never be over-rated. During this past week, it has been my saving grace! Best to you!

Better To Think New Thoughts

Before we begin: See on twitter Oliver Hunt, #Oliverthereader, Narrator of William Pardon Tankerfield the Third and a Googol of Wishes, is celebrating his brother Jon’s new music release . LISTEN HERE.   Positively magical.

It would be great to share a beautiful piece of music. Helping people unfold their dreams! So Good!  Goes right along with positive thinking!

Positive Thoughts, Positive Life Products

In first three years of your life you were in the receptive mode much of the time. You were observing the world around you and you freely interacted with it. You may not have many memories of this time. You were engrossed in relating and interacting with people, places and things around you. Your eyes and attention were often wide open!

Whenever your body felt something you did not choose, you learned to communicate through crying. When you were delighted, you often let it all out with screams of joy. You were close to your non-physical being-ness. Your parents often saw you staring blankly into space and wondered what world you were in.

Now you may be pretty much set in your ways. Even the most conscious of us, forget old thoughts can become stagnant and negative. Negative thoughts can influence our life. One negative plus one negative equal two negatives. Two negatives plus two negatives equal four negatives. When our thoughts center around worrying over money, a test, the loss of a friend, or even remembering hurtful experiences, we block the possibilities of positivity!

The thing is you can’t have any happiness without positivity. This is due to the fact happiness cannot coexist with negativity. Changing your world depends on your ability to live in a happy environment. Your biggest job today is to find ways to improve upon negative thinking.

Re-wording the way you talk about something can create a more positive thought.

Words are formed to express a specific meaning or attitude.  Words have the power to hold us in current situations. Words are close evidence of our thoughts.


Yet, we use words so casually. We seldom think about word’s impact on ourselves and others. We sprinkle words around from morning to night and rarely take responsibility for them or notice how they form our day.  We have been born into a world of pre-existing meaning.  It is challenging to break away from negativity.  

GETTING TO HAPPY: Learning to Read Emotional Messages — Barbara Dean Aliaga

A challenge is never to be feared! I believe you can have no thoughts without words. So, how we use them is important!

POSITIVE THOUGHTS:

  • ARE LIGHTLY THOUGHTFUL. Remember the infant/toddler? Can’t you hear the little one coo and giggle at what is seen, felt, heard, touched, smelled?
  • EMIT GENEROSITY. It is easy to relate to others with inclusivity and without judgement when you engage in positive words .
  • SEND MESSAGES OF EASE, WELL-BEING, SATISFACTION. Whether you are walking to work, washing the dishes, mowing the lawn, driving a car, making dinner, when positive thoughts are vibrating within your brain, you receive happy messages. This way you will know your thinking is positive. If you feel poorly, you are thinking negative thoughts, even if you are not paying attention.

Exercising, socializing and meditating will help wean you from negative thinking (worry, anxiety, disappointment, anger, resentment, jealousy, depression, etc.). Choosing on-going education is an excellent way to change your thoughts by improving your words. This can include traveling to a new country or state, walking across the street to get better acquainted with a neighbor, reading a book difficult for you to read, listening to a new type of music until you can understand its magic.

As part of your early morning preparation for the day, it can be fun to choose one new person, place or thing you are going to meet up with this day. This is how I came up with the February Commitment to Write Challenge!

You may agree, when you first realized the power you have over your life, everything changed. Now it is time to better understand this power. We are here as individuals. Yet we are also here intrinsically joined to every person, place and thing. What choices will we make for ourselves, realizing the impact on others. Are we able to lift ourselves up and others also. This is the new way of thinking that brings a more positive life.

One positive plus one positive always leads to a better direction. The time is now! Best to you, Barbara