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Get Through Tough Times With Less Blaming!

In 2011 and 2018, I published Indy books to explore how we can rise above melancholy, disappointment and sadness. I still use these books to inspire and raise me above unwanted situations in my pursuit of happiness — joy, peace and love.

I try to choose my next direction by observing the present-moment and how I am feeling. I use this method:

  • STOP/PAUSE/BREATHE
  • Observe my feelings — where am I on the spectrum of feelings
    • Spectrum: excellent — great — happy — peaceful —joyful —content — fair — a bit down — sad — angry — frustrated — fearful[ — hopeless
  • Imagine how I want to feel right now
  • Use sentences containing words to match this
  • I purposely let go and choose these new thoughts until I feel better

Simply put, if in the moment I feel something bad or off, instead of focusing on external situations and attempting to physically correct the situation, I temporarily move away from the person, thing or place I am in. I reach for feelings that feel better.

My feelings are telling me about how far or close I am from my true forever-loving, best self. My feelings are a navigation tool coming from my ever-loving self: Wake up! Alert! You’re going the wrong direction! You are off!

And, what is the message to self?

The negative feeling tells me I am viewing people, places and things, quite differently than my true self sees them. I am being told by my feelings, I am way off, out of sorts, in stark contrast to my true self who lives in a balanced state of acceptance of good times and bad. I am able to allow and turn toward happy, joyful, loving thoughts in the midst of the shadows, contrasts, undesirables.

This has been my life’s Art-Board. I love feeling aligned with the feelings of my desires.

I believe feelings play an authentic part in helping me navigate through my days.

The High Sea of Life @AbuNana.com
The High Sea of Life @AbuNana.com

I am on the high sea of life, with many challenges. When I listen to and adjust my feelings I live a royal, happy life. When I find something that knocks me out of the kingdom, I find ways to remind myself how I wish to feel, which activates thoughts and words, until I feel better. I leave the worry, guilt, concern, gloom behind …. Even when it seems to be logical to remain in this negative, worrisome state.

In these senior years, I move around many layers of feelings during the day.

What continues to change for me is the fact that I would rather be happy, even in the midst of a storm from within. I have the power to change my mind and choose to do what makes me happy, even before I have achieved an external solution to a challenge.

I am confident the negative feeling attached to a particular person, place or thing, comes from within me. And, herein, is the important lesson:

  • I can wallow in the sorrow until I realize it is not in others, but in me!
  • I can choose stay in the situation and observe my feelings as I suffer.
  • I can choose to work through the situation, yet change my attitude toward the situation as something to work through with the enjoyment of improving my choices at this precise moment. …relief comes when I have chosen to leave behind whatever led me to this moment.

I spend a lot of time alone. I also reach out to others. It is in my alone time, I can get through tough times with less blaming of others.

I hope this helps you along your journey.