Self-Confidence – string of consciousness

4374CEE8-22C0-499A-8DF6-B9F0EA5CA541It is so easy to speak and write about choosing happy thoughts. Then a situation  arises that clashes with my current direction.  A rude remark, an oversighor an interruption leading to a misunderstanding. My state of mind then depends on the level of self-confidence that allows an unwanted situation to be brushed off or solved and forgotten

Just how happy am I?  The answer:  as happy as I can heed my own words and return often to a consciousness of happiness. I understand that happiness is always available but so often I loose my confidence in locating it when my situation presents as an irritant. How do I develop this confidence to withstand these irritant situations?

It is impossible to cultivate the skill of self-confidence without putting it into action. Did I think it was an inherent trait? It may have been at one time.  It may have been, before I allowed others: parents, siblings, friends, teachers, church reps, government reps, news reps, heroes and just about anyone who was not me, dictate the direction I should take at any given moment. When I put my voice second to others.  And when others scolded me for listening to my inner guidance and not theirs

My confidence seemed to rise temporarily when it was in agreement with the thoughts of the person I was with. I struggled in stating my unique perspective. I was seldom in contact with who I was and what my thoughts were. And when my statement came out in a group, it came in the form of an argument.  It was often an offensive stance that was not readily accepted, probably because the tone was not understood. Over the years my skill diminished and refused to serve me in the tamest of gatherings.

But have no fear; it is not a gloomy picture at all.  It is the gold lessons of experience. I like to practice and expand many skills. Confidence nudges me daily to move about with, well, confidence!  And by utilizing this skill I am making many discoveries about this adventure called life, ad communication  There is still much to learn  I will be staying around for a while longer!

Today’s objective is to practice confidence by responding to my thoughts. I am determined to be my best friend today.  Self-confidence is a skill I can use to discover my best self, my best life. I am on to something major!  Thank you for sharing in this day’s journey with me and I hope these words are helpful for you!

Creating Thoughts That Serve You!

Guide your thoughts to serve you

This is the best.  Copy and paste it, print it and put it up on your wall.  It can bring consciousness to you as you pass it in the hallway.  Or, you could use it as your desktop wallpaper.  It has the power to remind you to choose thoughts that serve you.

I can choose my thoughts.  The thing is, I am usually so unconscious as to what my mind is conversing about at a constant pace that I am not usually aware that I have a choice at all!  Thoughts seem to be my ego and I often listen to that long-time friend.  It says I don’t have a choice at all!

But a choice I have.  I can be servants to my thoughts.  My thoughts tell me that the economy is bad.  I read the news to find out if this is true.  And, of course, I find lots of articles that will tell me that everyone better be concerned.  And, so I worry and feel sick and scared, and irritated at whoever comes into my midst.  It is no fun being a servant of my careless thoughts.

I need to remind myself that my mind has an automatic function and if left unattended will automatically dish out thoughts previously thought or read about. . It’s the reason I can type these words so easily, without even being aware of what letters I’m tapping on.   The mind can sort out and remember data that comes to me  just like a computer. My ego has developed within the mind and can dish up thoughts to its satisfaction, like eating when I’m not hungry.  If I don’t organize that data the way I, my happiest self, want it to serve me, if I just let the data run every which way, my body will receive instructions.  Yes.  My body is  dependent on my mind and my heart.

The question is, do I want to let the mind have free-wheeling power over my existence?

For me the answer is an emphatic, NO!  Well, not when it feeds me emotions of fear, worry, irritation, hopelessness, that type of thing.  But I like the automatic body directions, like walking and dancing and, yes, typing!

Unless I am aware of my thoughts, they run me.  I keep hearing this, but I keep ignoring this seemingly simple fact.   It is so easy to take orders from the thoughts.  I often act on thoughts that I did not really choose, and then regret it as if I had a choice.  But I did have a choice.  I could have chosen to put thoughts into my mind that were pleasant and helpful for me to gain my dreams!  I could have chosen to learn a new skill, take a new course, listen to a new piece of music, sketch or paint, exercise, mediate, visit with friends, take a walk, play a game with my family.  I did not have to let outside random news stories take possession of my life and the health of my body.

And I haven’t even talked about commercials!

I worry about the future of my job.  I worry about the amount of money I will need to survive in the future.  I worry just about everything when I read the news.  I was taught in school to be civic minded by reading current events.  So even though the news has always been geared to what is shockingly wrong, I dutifully read, if I don’t consciously stop myself.  Many times I am  just curious to know what is going on in the world.  I guess I believe I’m going to read some good news.  It never happens and I am filling my mind with fear, concern, disgust, judgements about things I really don’t even know about because I’m reading a 2nd hand account.   The fact is, it is challenging to read the news and stay conscious, alert, enough to sort through what I will allow myself to think about.

Here comes the good stuff.  It is possible to make my thoughts serve me.  What is it that I want.  I want to reap the benefits of my core nature, love and happiness.  These sweet energies do not exist in worry and concern.  Negative thoughts are like the worst party poopers!  These thoughts try to cover up and make me forget that there is such a thing as love and happiness.  These thoughts are determined to eliminate any enjoyment.  Well enough about the negative thoughts.

The thing is, I have to first be aware that they are running rapid in my mind and making my life miserable.  Once I can do that, — ah! — I can choose a few thoughts of my own.  I can clean-up the computer of my mind and create a most magnificent day for myself and for everyone around me.

That is the choice we all have.  Whenever you feel miserable, you can look to our thoughts.  What have you been thinking about?  If you have just been reacting to a friend, to a news story, to a car who cut in front of you, to the load of work you have to accomplish, chances are you are now servants of those thoughts.  You don’t like being servants of negativity.  The alternative, of course, is to change your upload of thoughts.

Dare to enjoy life by enjoying life!  Leave the news behind.  News isn’t new.  It was cautioning us to be very a very afraid when I was a child and it is no different now.  We will always have people telling us that the end is near.  The question is, will we listen?

Will we train our mind to think thoughts that serve us and our pursuit of happiness.  It will take courage and discipline and delight and fun, but I think we are up to it.  This is possible because our core of love is strong beyond estimation!

No matter what  you perceive your situation to be, create thoughts that will permit you to have a most satisfying and happy day!

Getting to Happy in Real Time

Happy EnergyBe your best, happy friend.  That may sound a bit funny to you, but it holds some great advice.  We all know that deep, quiet satisfaction is the very stuff we are made of.

Peaceful happiness is available to us at all times.  There is never a moment that it is not available.  Everything you need is in the quiet of you.

One of the tools for locating the happiness within is to listen to the sound of each breath, become aware of your heartbeat. What a loyal friend is your heart!  Consider your age. How many years has your heart been beating? It is estimated that over an average of a 66-year-lifespan the heart beats 2.5 billion times.

The heart beats and your lungs exchange carbon dioxide for oxygen to nourish your blood supply whether or not you think about it.  These systems are available to you free-of-charge throughout your lifetime.  So is peace, joy and happiness.  Happiness is always available to you, free-of-charge.  There is no external thing, like a new house, a new job, new clothes, a new friend or loved-one, that can bring you happiness because you already own an unlimited supply of happiness.  It is the fabric of who you are.  You are the energy of happiness!

You can restrict your flow of happiness with negative thoughts just like you can cover your airways to prevent oxygen to enter your body.  If you cannot experience happiness simple remove the clamps of negative thinking.  Pay attention to each breath and realize there is more to you than you ever imagined. Take a moment to still all thoughts and reach inward to your best friend, you.

Let go of the negative concerns, strategies, pseudo-defences that restrict your happiness.  Let go, become aware of your breathing until you can sense the happy energy that wishes to bubble up into your day’s reality.  Ask yourself often today, “How do you feel?” .  As you practice each day, you will become aware of the negative impediments you have placed on your well-being.  Little by little, remove these restrictions and get to “Happy” in “Real Time.”

Two Exercises For Peace, Love and Happiness

Today I am offering two ideas for a more pleasant day.  Audio Blog Available.

Number one:  Plan your day as if it has already taken place.

This exercise might seem a bit strange at first, but it packs a powerful punch. Instead of getting up in the morning and hoping things will turn out, imagine the actions of the day as already having taken place, as if you are watching a movie.  Imagine you are finished with the day.  Imagine how you feel because of the day’s events.

You can rise in the morning with enthusiasm, or you may dread the day.  The first thing you can do is be thankful for your bed, for the body you are in, for your surroundings and for the people in your life.  The best days start with appreciation for what you have.  The second thing you can do is to plan for your day.  See yourself talking to your co-workers in a happy environment of sharing.  See yourself completing your tasks at work with ease and enjoyment.  Imagine all sorts of good surprises for yourself. And, top it off with the thought, that all of your dreams have already come true!  Imagine you are getting ready for bed tonight and enjoying the memories of the actualization of your dreams.

As I said, this may seem a bit strange at first. But don’t give up!  It will bring about happier situations throughout your day as you perfect your skills.  You are beginning to achieve the skill of objectivity.  You are beginning to see yourself and your situations in a new light and gain power over your daily life and situations.  You are in touch with your core of happiness.

Number two:  Be your greatest fan

Have you ever heard yourself singing or read something you wrote long ago and been surprised that it was you singing or writing? Have you ever come across a project from work that gave you an amazing feeling that it was you who accomplished that project?  If so, you have a rare opportunity to be your greatest fan.

Self-love is the beginning task for all of us.  To the extent you love and admire your true self you will be able to love others … and not a speck more.   Take time today to find out more about yourself and see if you can be proud to know yourself the same way you would be proud to say you know a rockstar or politician or actress or boss or anyone you admire in your life.  Are you proud to know you?  Are you proud to be you?  That is powerful stuff.

Many people are taught to love their neighbor as themselves.  They may work hard on charity events only to find themselves unhappy and in conflict with those they work with.  They wonder how it is that they can be so charitable and so irritated at the same time.  Of course, you know the answer.  You cannot give what you do not have.  Love yourself and loving others becomes a natural response.

Perhaps today you will take time to express yourself in art, writing, singing, playing an instrument or creating an audio book.  Tomorrow, enjoy what you have created.  Don’t worry if you have not received any feedback from anyone regarding how great you are.  Take time to enjoy and admire who the person is behind the creation …. you!  Allow yourself to admire yourself and you will experience happiness and peace because you will be coming in contact with all that we consider important.

Peace!

Courage To Be Yourself

There is nothing quite so satisfying as the calm, peaceful connection to happiness.

Yet many days we are caught up in the rough waters of sorrow, fear, defense, and concerns that can lead only to unhappiness. It occurred to me yesterday that a stumbling block to experiencing my happiness is trying to create a projection to others that I think might please them.

At the moment I realize I am who I am, flaws and all, I stop projecting the person I consider passable for other’s approval, and I am immediately returned to my happy state.

The question is this: Is it possible for me to get along with you by just being myself?  You bet it is!  In fact, I am worthless to you if I am not myself.  So, here I am in my natural, free state of happiness. There is nothing so satisfying as being myself.  So what if my house is a little untidy.  So what?!!  So what if my pants have a wrinkle.  So what if my hair doesn’t match the hollywood stars I see.  So what if I don’t fit into the latest fad group.  So what if I occasionally have a grammatical error in my blog.  So what!

The only way I will fit into this world is if I let myself be me with all the wonderful flaws and creative, free, child-like expressions of joy.

I pass this piece of wisdom on to you today.  Be best friends with yourself.  Stop creating a nagging mother and an unhappy child from within.  When you see a flaw, love the flaw and go on.  It is part of you this day and it is part of your life today.  If you really don’t like a wrinkle, iron your pants, but do it for yourself, not for who you think will be impressed. If you don’t like the way your hair looks, then go and get it cut.  But get it cut for yourself, not for the way you think others will like it.  If you cut it for others to notice, you’ll be disappointed in their reaction every time.  The only person who can please you and compliment you and make you feel important is yourself.  

Give up trying to fit in and LIVE your life with joy.  You and I are marvelous creations.  Enjoy today with your best friend who will always be with you … you!

Living In The Moment Means Ability To Succeed

Here is a good example of how negative thought can develop within any one of us. Egos can take over at a moment’s notice and if left unguarded can seriously impede the pursuit of happiness.

Last evening a magazine salesman came to the door. A silent alarm was triggered within me: someone is ringing the door after dark.  I was filled with immediate suspicion. Everything I write about took backseat to fear. I heard my husband laughing and speaking to the gentleman at the door and I found myself going upstairs to get to a phone in case this salesman was not legitimate. I felt compelled to save the day!

After the salesman left, I felt ashamed of myself for not helping out my fellow man and I didn’t feel good. Even more, I felt I should remain loyal to this shame because of my reactions. I felt it would be dishonest to now turn all positive and happily get on with the moment.  My husband mentioned once or twice to let it go but I felt this strong urge to assess my reactions to a simple ring at the door.  …and I began to notice that I was defending my reactions to my husband who was now focused on a basketball game.

I didn’t realize it in the moment.  Now I do.  I was choosing thoughts that were making me feel bad.

This is one grand opportunity.  I am able to observe from a distance share about thoughts that can take hold and, left unguarded, multiplied rapidly.  Feed Me!  the thoughts pleaded.  Feed Me!  I have important fears that need protection!  I have important guilt you need to pay attention to!

And, then I stopped.  Took pause.  And I realized I did not feel good.  And I remembered that I was wearing fear.  I gently turned away from the fear and the self-guilt and all thoughts that did not make me happy.  Immediately, I experienced the familiar happiness and peace that has become more and more obvious to me.  I am living proof that living in the moment allows me to succeed.

Thank you for letting me share my thoughts with you.

Politicians Are Using Powerful Pollutants

Even a child now understands that to be president you need enough money to publically slander your opposing candidate in order to win the election.  Here are my observations:

  1. The United States has a great, 3-way, check-and-balance system.  It works when each appreciate and respect the purpose of the other.
  2. Children who bully and lie about their classmates in the same manner that we witness nightly between candidates are disciplined. Yet our children are watching these demonstrations nightly on TV.
  3. Those of us who are smart enough to refrain from watching only commercial-free TV and no news during this year of presidential election will be safe from political pollutants.  Thoughts and words that cover our natural ability for happiness are recognized and carefully discarded.
  4. Our Declaration of Independence assures us the right to pursue happiness. How are we to achieve a government in pursuit of happiness when we are caught up in gossip.  It was interesting to see that candidates put a moratorium on negative campaigning during the Christmas season. Is the message here saying that negative campaigning is a necessary evil; at whose expense?  Should not our government prohibit unhappy, disrespectful, and angry political campaigns and potential leaders?
  5. When we tolerate the irritation of nightly commercials that all but yell at us about the evils and weaknesses of the other, we, ourselves, are worn down.  We ask ourselves: Are these our intended leaders?  How will we be inspired by them once they are elected?  How will they create an environment that will allow us to pursue happiness?
  6. People actually take on one ugly side or the other, and retell the angry stories they have heard on talk-shows, news, or advertisements.  Emails and blogs are written to persuade others to see how the “other” candidate is a creep and their candidate is the only one who can make things better.

Even writing about politics makes me leave my happy zone and enter the craziness.  So, I’m going to breathe and remember a few things.

  1. Respect is an attitude that always gives me happiness.  Respect begins with respecting myself.
  2. Anytime I hear angry and bullying lies, I must breath and speak freely that there is no love or happiness within negative intentions and only negative outcomes can come from negative words. When I refuse to feed the fire, the fire dies.  When I refuse to give energy to arguments, the arguments die.
  3. TV is not the only recreation in this world.  No matter what we may think, we are not more intelligent because we watch the news.  It is possible to watch commercial-free TV via a computer. There is a way to tape programs so that you can bypass all commercials and as long as commercials contain negative, hard-sell and degrading emotions, the advertising market will “feel” the impact.
  4. We do have a right to be who we are: happy, loving beings.  We are!  We do not need to be afraid of anything or anyone!  We have all we need!  We do not need to beware of any government or government official.  They are of the same substance as us.  There is nothing to war about, my friends.
  5. Effective leaders are mirrors of our best self, our true self.  Effective leaders radiate our happy, loving us.
  6. I was first taught the art of debating in fifth grade.  It was taught as a method to help students grow intellectually.  Respect for your opponent was key.  It was understood that all sides would have valid points.  Debates were a way for students to flush out all the facets of a particular subject for the good of the class.  The class would then have a better understanding of the subject and decide their course of action based on the fine presentation of the debators.  It was considered ineffectual and lazy debating for students to rely on disparaging remarks about the other side.  The debater who won was the one who was most clever about producing a clear statement and roadmap for its achievement.  It held humor that was humorous never remarks that were hurtful to the other.  Well, that is my memory of a long-passed art.

I have a favorite cup that has my painting called, Community by Another Angle.  I am happy to hold it and so happy to be living this Saturday with my husband and my dog.  I have happy thoughts of my son and his family visiting the beach.  I am going to clean up our house a bit and I am going to write more on my next book.  I am close to who I am.  That is the challenge of life.  As I keep saying, “All You Need Is Love.”