Getting To Happy

Hi everyone!  I’m looking forward to the completion of a work-in-process:  Getting To Happy.  It should be ready for print in December!  What a wonderful, fun project.  It just keeps getting better.

Here is a partial draft as an introduction.  Enjoy!  And, keep smiling!

My Loyalty To Happiness

This book is written for me, and offered to you! I find myself struggling when I unconsciously observe situations around me. I often observe sickness, aging, repetitive suffering, misunderstanding, inability to relate in ways that inspire and allow happiness. I know happiness exists eternally somewhere deep inside. I want to revisit my natural inclination to live a happier, more satisfying life. I want to develop physical representations that are pleasing to me by elevating my attitude. I invite you to come along with me. If you are serious about living a happy life, this can be the book to visit often.

I have been told repeatedly that all good things must come to an end. Family members have insinuated that you can’t be happy all the time. Even though I find myself sinking beyond my natural state of happiness, I firmly believe it is always present. It is up to me to allow the frequency that matches happiness. Happiness is my natural state of being. It is possible to live happily ever after. It is possible to conduct myself within certain attitudes that match happiness. There is little to be gained for me to resonate with the lower vibrations of negative thinking. Happiness doesn’t live there. You can disagree with me. You may consider the pursuit of happiness an immature way to approach life. We are free beings capable of choosing any number of thoughts and attitudes. These writings will help you recognize the connection between your thoughts and attitudes, the guiding force of emotional energy and your physical and material outcomes.

I leave the world of happiness whenever I block my natural pathway with negative illusionary thoughts such as irritation, frustration, worry, apprehension, anger and despair. The experience can be like finding myself within a pinball game where my thoughts bounce back and forth against bumper synapses. I may find myself a long way from happiness, when I am comparing myself to family and friends. As I become aware of these thoughts, and reign them in, I can immediately enter the world of satisfaction and peace. When I am not focusing on fears and concerns provided me by the world news, I can immediately enter the world of quiet, cooperation and love.

Happy thoughts cause life-changing,  waves of vibration that travel well beyond what I could ever do with actions stemming from duty or guilt. I have taught myself to replace negative words with those that hold positivity. Then any actions will collaborate with joy. Your world will always be what you imagined.

….more to come!

What are your feelings telling you?

EmotionsI’m talking about cautionary feelings today!

I have always considered myself intuitive. Certain feelings made me think I was receiving cautionary messages from someone who had a bigger vision than I.  I would not go into a store when this negative feeling came to me.  Or I would choose another campsite when this uneasy feeling came over me.  I sometimes would get a hunch about someone.

I understood negative feelings to be messages directing me to avoid certain danger.  I imagined that I was being protected.  I became apt at recognizing these emotions and responding accordingly.

I was vigilant.  I watched for negative emotions. I recoiled and ceased to participate until I could feel better. I was proud that I could recognize these messages and save myself from an unknown fear!

I now realize that these interpretations are not only rescuing me from unhappy situations, they are putting me in a cloister safety zone.  I can continue using negative emotions as my personal safety net, but my life  becomes narrower and narrower.

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Participation is one of my biggest desires.  Yet my desires were conflicted by refraining to participate.  I needed to take a second look at my attitude.

True or False:  Negative emotions send messages of fear-and-flight?

Yes and no.  The question is, has this understanding of intuition served me?  I can only decide this from looking at my life experiences.

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Fleeing more and more opportunities because I feel the “fear emotion” has trended toward isolation and a non-social lifestyle.  It has permitted me to write, paint, play music, meditate and enjoy nature. but is this the only lifestyle I want?  Don’t I love being and sharing with people?

The flee or non-participation approach seemed to work fine for me at one point in my life. Now it doesn’t.

If I felt a negative emotion when I was invited to a party, I would politely give reasons why I could not go.  I read articles that confirmed it was a better idea to Just say no! than to force yourself to do something you didn’t want to do.  It was confusing.  If I was invited to go on an outing and received a negative emotion, I would not go.  If I got an idea to call a friend and a negative emotion came up, I would put off the phone call.  I actually believed this would help me.  I thought to myself, My timing may be off and it is not a good time to call.  I was pretty proud of this intuitive gift of safety.

This approach led down a path where I convinced myself I was predestined to have a more quiet life.  This is something I would need to accept. As time went on, friends gave up on me, thinking that I wasn’t interested in them or what they did.  I had little idea that this approach was leading to the opposite lifestyle that I desired.

And here is wherein the premise is faulty for me.  There is more lovely and luscious life to experience! I am tending more toward the belief it is possible to be safe, enter into unknown situations, and interpret your uneasy emotions as Please take a second look!  It could hold the kind of adventure you are looking for.  I now am moving ahead into new spheres of my life.  How this will happen?   Life experiences are my only way of knowing.

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Life experience tells me that I can participate by changing my point of talking about a situation or thinking about a situation.  Life experience tells me that there is always time to stop and listen to the thoughts that feel bad.  When I hear the thoughts, I have the opportunity to see through different eyes.  In changing my thoughts to a more comfortable, positive attitude about my situation, I change my situation… every time!

So, the way I was thinking of a friend who I wanted to call but didn’t, was triggering an uneasy feeling. I realized I was thinking I might be bothering my friend so I didn’t call.  I consciously changed my thoughts to I always am a loving person and my friends feel good when I call .  Now it is easier to call.  Now I have something to give.

I know that my attitude can change my ability to see what is in front of me.  Attitudes are like great, magical glasses.  They can change the look of anything! …and instantly!   My cautionary feelings are alerts to look at things in a new light.  You never know what you will see differently.  You never know what can develop within one day when you take second and third looks!

I hope these words are helpful to you and look forward to hearing about your attitude perspectives.  Today is a good day to have a good day!

 

Thoughts can change your situation

Aunt Barbara's Powerful Little Book of Comfort

Yesterday, I wrote about Attitude changes.  Today, I am sharing a chapter in a book I published in 2011.  I hope it will support you in a positive direction that enables a happier level of life. If you are serious about the complaints you make about your situations, there is a way to improve every situation.

Excerpt from Aunt Barbara’s Powerful Little Book of Comfort, ByBarbara Dean Aliaga SMASHWORDS EDITION * ****PUBLISHED BY:Barbara Dean Aliaga on Smashwords, Aunt Barbara’s Powerful Little Book of Comfort Copyright © 2011 by Barbara Dean Aliaga ISBN: 978-1-4660-0545-7
Get 10% off with this coupon code for Aunt Barbara’s Powerful Little Book of Comfort

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Chapter 3:  Thoughts can change your situation

There is no denying that your loss has changed everything.

It is to be hoped that you took a little break and are ready to begin this recovery process again. You will probably agree that what you are going through is a crash course in spirituality, general semantics, universality, science, philosophy, psychology, and who knows what else. You didn’t ask for this change.

You may be resisting this sudden devastation. You don’t remember anyone asking if you wanted to change. And, that feeling hurts! Whether your God is a picture of a loving father, a mighty deity, a universe, a flower, tree or river, the stars above or an unknown energy, I hope love is the center of your understanding.

Depending on your understanding of how things should be, you could experience an equivalent surprise. You may feel confusion. You may even feel that your belief system has let you down. And that hurts worst of all. You may feel that whatever your understanding is, it has allowed this loss to occur. How could this happen, you repeat to yourself throughout the day. I didn’t think this could ever happen to me. You are lost in your surprise and you are drowning in your sorrow.

Probably you feel like crying right now. When you read the words above, your whole reality changes to sadness. Thoughts created these emotions. You can control your thoughts that lead to unhappy feelings.

Consider this. Your attitude, your thoughts, can create 100 percent of your happiness or unhappiness. Thoughts have power. A very clever person came up with this interesting piece of information: when you count the letters in “attitude” as they fall in the alphabet they add up to 100%.

A=1 T=20 T=20 I=9 T=20 U=21 D=4 E= 5 Word = 100 percent

This is a brilliant way to remember that your attitude will produce one hundred percent of your reality. If the majority of your day is spent with an attitude of sorrow, there is nothing to be expected but a sorrowful day. It does not mean that you have to sustain positive attitudes 100% of the day. However, the more positive attitudes or thoughts you can entertain during the day, the happier your situation seems to become. You draw more, and more happy thoughts to your mind and your reality manifests more, and more happy situations for you and those around you.

When a loved one dies or leaves you in marriage, your attitude can be nothing less than sorrowful. You and your loved one may have been so very close, and now you are overflowing with thoughts of separation and loss.

When you suddenly end up in the hospital with a devastating disease, your attitude can be nothing less than dreadful. You are filled with thoughts of loss.

When you lose your job or your home, your attitude can be nothing short of fear. You are filled with thoughts of loss.

In all of these scenarios, your initial attitude will be unhappy. The rush of unhappy thoughts cause a blanket of unhappy situations.

Drugs that can suppress these sad thoughts are available and may be useful to you. There can be another way to let the negative thoughts drift off into oblivion by replacing them with warm, happy thoughts. I am here to help you get through.

The key is to begin soon to redirect all of this unhappiness toward attitudes of well-being. Because if you allow yourself to continue down the road of misery, you begin to construct a more permanent tape recording that will be played over and over and over. Each time it is played you will feel bad and you will hopelessly create a sad reality and wonder why.

There are moments after a loss that you wish you could have done or said something differently and you become entangled in those self-defeating thoughts. It will do no good to continue to try to relive these moments. You can only learn from any feeling that you have and remember how you want to act when future opportunities present themselves. You can replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts in a split second.

This is an opportunity, a way to change things before they become your way of life. You cannot ask people to rescue you from the pain and continually host thoughts of sorrow.

Little by little, you need to build roads, make inner tape recordings that make you feel happier. This is a gradual process and you are beginning and succeeding as you read and as you create your positive thoughts.

You may have always thought that you had little to do with your reality. You may have heard from earliest years, “What will be, will be”. I have experienced that it is a good thing to accept

what is, what has taken place. I have also experienced that I can cause a brighter future by living with positive thoughts in the present moment. I have experienced the fact that I can change things with my attitude. I am convinced that your thoughts can cause a happier reality.

What are positive thoughts? They are easy to identify. Positive thoughts cause good feelings, like wellness, peacefulness, ease, cooperation and laughter, to name a few. Negative thoughts cause bad feelings, like disease, irritation, arguments, anger, and bullying. It is simple. It is straightforward. I often wonder why so often the differentiation eludes most of us. I often observe the internal struggle to govern our thoughts.

Thoughts seem to magically appear and we are unconscious of their origin. This unconsciousness is counterproductive to our desire for happiness. We can choose our thoughts. More clearly, we can choose to replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Now I’ve challenged you! Now you can leave your miserable feelings and come to a state of happiness for the rest of your life! It is your choice to become conscious of what is going on in your mind.

Sometimes the easiest way to leave negative thoughts is to do something physical. If you’re feeling overwhelmed now, it might help to go to the closest sink and wash your hands. Take your time, use soap and suds up. Feel the water flow through your fingers. Smell the fragrance. Wash your hands until you begin to feel better. Listen to your breathing. See if you can smile at your amazing hands. See if you can find yourself. Now.

If you are in a state of confusion because of a sudden loss, you have a unique opportunity to open your limited view of heaven and earth. You have an excellent opportunity to grow in wisdom and grace.

I can hear you saying, I don’t want this opportunity. I want the things the way they were. I want things back to the way they were. That is indeed an attitude, but one that does not render happiness. It is a negative attitude that you are a victim and with that attitude you will produce a life for yourself that reflects a victim’s lifestyle. Is that really what you want? Didn’t you begin this book so that you would no longer be a victim? Didn’t you want to be happy? Didn’t you ask whether you would ever be happy again? How can you move pass this loss, you ask?

You move pass it by consistently creating an attitude that is positive. Remember positive attitudes produce happy outcomes. Negative attitudes produce unhappy outcomes. It is simple. …and that is the big surprise. It is simple.

Choose Attitudes That Create Better Situations: Consider the difference in Positive Thinking versus Negative Thinking.

I am thankful for what I have versus I am afraid I won’t have enough.

I know things will turn out all right versus I’m afraid I’m in for a rough time.

I love all people versus People always let me down.

I am the luckiest one in the world versus never win anything.

I wonder what I can do for someone today? Versus I wonder if someone will help me today.

I’m going to find something to eat today that makes me happy versus There’s never anything good to eat in this house.

I will have what I need versus I never get what I want.

I’m going to call a friend today versus Why don’t my friends call me.

I’m grateful for my general health versus I hope I don’t catch the flu that;s going around.

The Joy of Attitude Adjustments

The Joy of Attitude Adjustments
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My attitude creates a scope of vision toward everything that is happening in my life.

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

I love to frequently remind everyone I meet, that the sum of the placement of letters in the word, attitude, adds up to 100, ( a=1, t=20, t=20, i=9, t=20, u=21, d=4, e=5; that’s 100%)! One hundred percent of your attitude creates 100% of your current situation That may seem like a farfetched idea, but I’ve tested it countless times.

How negative attitudes affect our lives

Negative attitudes narrow and blur our outlook on life and limit our possibilities for solutions.  Negative attitudes seem harmless enough, but 100 % of our views are constricted and match the level of our negativity.    What could be a joyful day turns out to be a series of challenges and stressful surprises.  Our situations mirror our attitudes. We may feel like victims, but we can turn things around easily. When we don’t like our situations, we can always change our attitudes and these new positive attitudes will provide a match with upgraded situations.  It’s fun to see how easily it can be done, and what power we have over our daily lives!

Change your attitude, change your situation.

Try out a variety of positive thoughts that can turn frowns into smiles, stress into ease,  gloom into joy!  Every time you adjust your attitude, you will adjust your ability to affect your situation.

When you stop blaming some outside force for your bad day, you can utilize your attitudes to steer you into bright, new days ahead.

There is not much of a life without joy and quiet enthusiasm.  No one can give you joy but yourself!  So get moving, have a free attitude adjustment on me!  Fun times!

Addendum:  When you continue to believe you don’t have the power to change your situations from bad to a more pleasing situation, your belief IS the attitude that keeps you in your current situation.  Until you change this attitude that you are helpless and doomed to remain in the place you complain about.  From time to time, we all get stuck here.  But we don’t have to stay here.  Improve your attitude and you’ll improve your life!

Emotional Analytics

Emotional Analytics

Understanding Emotions

I have been a long-time student on the subject of emotions .  Emotions can impact and play important roles in my life.  Emotions energize my physical being one way or another.

The stream of emotions can support my focus on things that interest and delight me.  I have long interpreted emotions as messengers or guides to keeping myself united with myself, my best self.  How I feel about any situation, tells me how aligned I am.

I don’t need to control my emotions, except for perhaps, emotional outbursts that affect other’s well-being.   I also don’t need to explain why negative emotions are present.  I don’t need to look to past memories that are causing this unhappy emotion to be triggered within me.  I don’t need to set blame on someone else or some experience.  Blame, regret and guilt didn’t work when I was young, and it is just as futile now. Emotions are not present to scold me.  Emotions are simply guidelines to mark a path to well-being. Emotions are not emotional at all.  They are triggers of energy to tell me that I am getting closer or further away from my total self.

My happiness comes when I am at home with myself.  I know I am more than a physical body, changing daily by building up and tearing down.  I know I have something more significant about me that is non-physical, a part of me but apart from my body.  When I join my body with my non-physical self, I become a who, a real person. I know this because of the relationship I have had with the energy of emotions.

Adjusting Peaks and Valleys

Well-being for me occurs when I am at peace, joyful, laughing, and open. When I am in this state, I am successful in my life and in my business.   It is then I am energized by happiness and clarity.  My focus is uplifted by a current of blissful energy.  As I write these words, I am following my bliss.  I am within the energy flow of bliss.  I am turning my focus toward things that delight me, things that I am interested in and as I feel better, my physical world follows suit.  My physical situations improve without effort.  This has happened time and time again in my personal life and in my business life.  My focus, my attitude, my perception, or whatever you want to call it, becomes my reality in physical form.

Physical Playground

While I am in this body, I can do just about anything I want.  I can listen to others tell me how I should act or how fearful I should be or any number of things.  I can also become aware and accept my emotions, the way I would listen and accept the directives of my GPS lady who tells me I missed a turn. I can utilize my emotions as guideposts, GPS’s, directives, guardian angels or whoever is believed to be a guide.

What I am saying is certainly not new.  But for me it is fresh on a daily basis.  Life and all its experiences are here for me today and in whatever way I wish to see and choose it!  It is pretty incredible when you think about it.

I can move freely around my life, knowing that I have the non-judgmental energy of emotion to tell me how close I am connected to my non-physical source.  When I am in happier moods, I am closer to all of me.  All of me, why not take all of me, can’t you see I’m no good without you.  That song tells me just how much I want to be aligned with all of me, physical and non-physical and more.  The closer I am aligned, the closer I know I am.

Measuring Emotional Insights

Emotions that don’t feel good, emotions like depression, disappointment, anger, fear, worry, boredom, helplessness, anxiety, regret, guilt, apprehension, don’t have to be feared or even focused upon.  I merely need to make an adjustment in my direction.  My focus creates a vibration of thoughts.  Negative emotions are warning lights to focus on something more positive before I self-destruct.

Emotions are like the best form of analytics available to me!  I am a person who loves objective findings as well as the subjective perceptions.  Emotions can accurately determine my present status and the predictability for success.  I can disclose trends and the need to refocus my attention by listening to my feelings.  I can change my world and have satisfying adventures, knowing I have an inner guidance system, called emotions.

For me, this continues to be a paradigm in the way I look at business and in the way I look at my daily life. I welcome your questions and comments..

Every day is a new beginning

Wake up!  Appreciate what makes you feel good!Are you aware of how you approach the precious moments when you wake up?

Let’s make an assessment.

  • Do you check your body to see if you still have that ache in your leg, or a cold?
  • Do you rehash an argument you had the day before with a friend?
  • Do you begin to worry again over your finances?
  • Do you start to plan and then fret over the project that is still unfinished?
  • Do you check the latest news headlines?
  • Can you think of other worrisome thoughts that greet you each day?

These may not be thoughts that are the best for starting your day.  There is little happiness in any of these concerns, wouldn’t you agree?

Each day offers a clean slate into the happy life you seek.  You can seize this opportunity by guiding your thoughts towards what feels good.

You can begin a little ritual upon waking up.  Become aware of how good your body feels wrapped in your cozy blankets.  Enjoy the good feeling of your pillows.  Feel the wonder of just waking up!  Yesterday’s burdens can wait.  This is a time for you to enjoy life. These are the precious moments of the day. Remember, pursuit of happiness?  If not now, when?  Here’s what we can do each day.

Upon waiting up, take advantage of the safety of the moment.  Approach these moments with the good feelings that make you smile inside.  These few moments upon waking are yours.  These moments are your key to a happier day.

On those days when you wake up and find you are still locked into yesterday’s concerns, stop the thoughts by changing your actions.  Get up when you are lost in the same worrisome thoughts. Begin an action that makes you feel better.  Here are some ideas.

  1. Just go back to sleep and reset.
  2. Get up.  Look in the bathroom mirror and give yourself that knowing smile.  –You know, the smile, that remembers how cute or clever or funny or bright or awesome you are.
  3. Listen to a motivational talk on-line as you get ready for the day.  (There are countless tapes available.)
  4. Listen to your favorite upbeat music.
  5. Look out the window and let yourself enjoy nature
  6. Write a list of activities that would be fun right now if you were someone else

Most of all, find actions that feel good. Allow yourself to be happy first, every day upon awaking, no matter what.  Be committed to how you feel.  Appreciate what feels good for a few moments every day before you take on any responsibilities.  Make a habit of this:  Wake up!  Appreciate what makes you feel good!

This simple change in how you begin your day, promises to allow  new opportunities to unfold during the day.  You control the amount of improvement in your life.  Opening up the happiness valve at the on-start of day, supports your plans to achieve during the day:   to complete your project, heal your illness, complete your project with more ease, to make the world a better place.

Wake up!  Appreciate what makes you feel good! That’s good advice because it works!  If you know someone who is struggling through their days, please share this article with them and we’ll both make a happier world.

 

Can thoughts be controlled?

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Who is controlling thoughts?  When I was young I was taught that I  have happy thoughts and bad thoughts.  I remember a story that was read to me.  It was about the good angel and the bad angel who sat on my shoulders. The good angel whispered thoughts that were good.  And the bad angel  whispered thoughts that were bad. I loved when my mother would find time to read to me at bedtime.  Little Tommy would be tempted to steal a bicycle, — or maybe it was a pair of skates that were fastened under his shoes, — from a neighbor’s house.  He could be fooled into thinking that his actions were good when, in fact they were not good for him in the long run.  After taking the skates, he had to return them.  He felt oh, so bad.  He had missed the happiness mark and was now separated from everyone else.  He felt all alone by what he did and I felt bad for him.  I was taught about choosing good and avoiding evil by hearing these stories over and over. The good angel sent happy emotions and the bad angel sent unhappy emotions.  I was learning to listen to my emotions to help me make sense out of life.

In remembering this, I begin to check with what is serving up my inner conversations.  I seem to Happy have a playlist that is not serving me at all.  I want to keep checking these endless,  inner conversations that produce and often times, prevent my actions.

Why is it important to run playlists that are happy?  Happy thoughts serve me!  Happiness allows actions that support health, wealth and peace of mind. Happiness produces clarity and stamps out confusion.  Happiness allows love to energize me. Connect to feelings of happiness and I will act in ways that help me lose weight, create wealth, and live a peaceful life.  Happiness is my guiding force to help me get what I want.

Who is the gatekeeper of thoughts, if not me?

I bring out all sorts of thoughts on any subject matter without even being aware of it.  I can be unconscious and let an assortment of past experiences, mostly bad experiences, play on a looped setting.  I can play this endlessly until I become conscious and choose to change my thoughts.  If I check, I can recognize that only one thought can be entertained in any given moment.  It is very reasonable then, to change my negative and hurtful thoughts to thoughts more positive and supportive of me.

Negative thoughts that are looped brings discouragement and self-doubt into my existence.

What does all this mean?  How can I make a happy day out of this?

  1. Happiness is the core value of my life.
  2. Begin and end my day with a moment of quiet.  Focus on nature: waves, trees, flowers, animals, rain, snow, sunshine.  Focus without attaching any judgement or description to it.  If I  become aware that I am lost in thoughts about the tree, (like I find I am thinking about how dry the tree looks and how I better water it), I will bring myself back to meeting the object of my focus as if I have seen it for the first time.
    1. I have stopped the looped playlists when a deep breath, perhaps a yawn, takes place, but don’t wait for it… that will be a thought.
  3. Commit to regularly checking in with my feelings.  When I am unhappy or anxious, I will veer my actions toward something I particularly like to do.
  4. New, improved actions can bring about new, improved thoughts.
  5. Keep refining a list of actions that particularly allow happiness to shine through to my conscious mind.  Keep 5 actions updated and kept in a place I will view frequently during this day.  Locate actions that increase my ability for happiness on a daily basis.

I am hopeful these two actions can help me change my direction

We have lots to do on this journey of life.  If you haven’t The Longest Journey, perhaps that will be helpful also.

We are destined for an enjoyable life!