Last evening a magazine salesman came to the door. A silent alarm was triggered within me: someone is ringing the door after dark. I was filled with immediate suspicion. Everything I write about took backseat to fear. I heard my husband laughing and speaking to the gentleman at the door and I found myself going upstairs to get to a phone in case this salesman was not legitimate. I felt compelled to save the day!
After the salesman left, I felt ashamed of myself for not helping out my fellow man and I didn’t feel good. Even more, I felt I should remain loyal to this shame because of my reactions. I felt it would be dishonest to now turn all positive and happily get on with the moment. My husband mentioned once or twice to let it go but I felt this strong urge to assess my reactions to a simple ring at the door. …and I began to notice that I was defending my reactions to my husband who was now focused on a basketball game.
I didn’t realize it in the moment. Now I do. I was choosing thoughts that were making me feel bad.
This is one grand opportunity. I am able to observe from a distance share about thoughts that can take hold and, left unguarded, multiplied rapidly. Feed Me! the thoughts pleaded. Feed Me! I have important fears that need protection! I have important guilt you need to pay attention to!
And, then I stopped. Took pause. And I realized I did not feel good. And I remembered that I was wearing fear. I gently turned away from the fear and the self-guilt and all thoughts that did not make me happy. Immediately, I experienced the familiar happiness and peace that has become more and more obvious to me. I am living proof that living in the moment allows me to succeed.
Thank you for letting me share my thoughts with you.